On this episode of Teen Mother 2, we now have some identify changin’ fun, a scarcity of shirts and a long-lost baby daddy creepin’ again into the highlight.
So…principally, it’s enterprise as typical for a ‘Teen Mom’ episode!
We kick off the episode in Florida with Briana, who is recent off her “You ARE the father” ambush of Luis in New York Metropolis. Now that she’s back residence, she and Devoin take Nova to dinner to rejoice (?) the dental surgery she’s having the subsequent day.
Bri tells us that she and the rest of the DeJesus Coven will probably be heading right down to Puerto Rico for trip quickly and, since Devoin has “stepped it up” recently, he might have just earned himself a roundtrip coach ticket to The PR himself!
“Hey Nova, can you loan me a few of your tooth fairy money? I’m tryin’ to get a brand new swimsuit to look superb for the Puerto Rican honeys!”
Things have to be pretty rattling miserable over at the TGI Friday’s that Devoin works at if he’s prepared to trip with the DeJesus crew just to get a break from it. (Let’s all say a prayer to the Child Jesus God Leah that Roxanne doesn’t pack her trusty pink pumps for the trip…)
Briana attempts to elucidate the anesthesia course of to Nova. As everyone knows, Briana is an professional in all things anesthesia, being that she’s needed to bear it numerous occasions to have numerous butts and boobs put in and faraway from her physique by Dr. Miami.
In fact, she explains the process to Nova by murdering the English language.
“You don’t feel nothin’ with they take your teef out!” Bri says. (As she’s saying this, Devoin is nodding as if he concurs with Briana’s medical description of the anesthesia process.)
Devoin can also be excited that he and Briana can be celebrating Nova’s birthday collectively for the primary time in 5 years.
The moment Devoin realized that MTV is just not only paying for his pizza but in addition his Puerto Rico trip…
“It ought to be very peaceable and very enjoyable!” Devoin says.
Peaceful? With this crew? Who knew Devoin had jokes!?
Over within the hollers of West Virginia, Leah is yet again hitting the girlseseses with a few of her good ‘ol motivational speakin’ information. Tonight’s matter is stressing the significance of a very good schooling—whether the faculties are properly or not.
Leah asks the girlses why it’s essential to get good grades. Aleeah, that wise-crackin’ little sassypants, comes proper again with what may be the perfect ‘Teen Mom’ line since “Is Kyle Sluggish?”
Aleeah tells her mother that it’s essential that she gets good grades and goes to school… “so we don’t end up such as you!”
That remark critically burns more durable than all of Kieffer’s meth pipes rolled into one!
“But Mama, ain’t you making lots of of hundreds of dollars since you obtained knocked up as an alternative of goin’ to the school?”
Leah tells her girlseses that they need to be accountable and make sensible selections (which is principally code for “Don’t let every Corey Tyler who tells you that you’ve a purty face put his beaver into your dam!”)
Leah tells the girleses that she made dangerous selections but is blessed to have them and that she has discovered so much and…another stuff however I, just like the girlseses, are likely to tune Leah out when she goes off on her speakin’s.
Later that night time, Leah goes on a date night time with Jason. Over a plate of some type of fried vegetable product, Leah tells Jason that the girlses’ report cards are popping out and that she’s holding an eye fixed out for anything lower than a B because she doesn’t “play with C’s.” (She has been recognized to play with D’s…or two, though…)
“These girlseses know I’m not afraid to hide the butter tub, Lunchables and sugar packets if essential!”
“You’ll be able to’t make them do their work,” Jason tells Leah.
Subsequent we examine in with Kail, who’s happily filming as Lincoln and Isaac kick youngsters at karate class. (She’s in all probability additionally filming to remember those strikes to make use of on Javi should he find himself as her “Least Favourite Baby Daddy” once more.)
“Isn’t there some type of karate transfer I can study to kick all three baby daddies directly?!”
Before this week, Jo was holding tight to that title, on account of his filing for baby help towards Kail. Nevertheless, Javi is now again in the operating to be the most-hated as a result of he listed himself and his Insta-Child-Mama Lauren as factors of contact for Lincoln’s soccer group however did not put Kail down as Lincoln’s other father or mother. (For my part, Javi ought to wear a helmet and a cup for the subsequent few weeks…just to be protected.)
Kail says she’s high-quality with Lauren being included in the staff contacts, however provided that the coach agrees to retailer her quantity underneath “Aspect Chick That Received Knocked Up By Lincoln’s Dad.”
“That child shot out of my gentleman gobbler! I deserve the title of ‘Mom!””
Next, we head to South Dakota, the place Chelsea is explaining the concept of a Mom-ster Mash Dance to her personal mom, South Dee-ko-tah Mary. Chelsea might be attending a Halloween dance with Aubree that’s only for youngsters and their moms.
“So ya gown up in costumes?!” Mary asks excitedly. (Don’t ya know?)
Aubree shall be dressing up as JoJo Siwa (the woman from Dance Mothers with the grating voice, big bow and even greater bank account).
“This is as massive as my bow is gonna get, OK?!”
While the two of them will probably be off having fun with a night of low cost punch and Kidz-Bop tunes, Cole shall be left to observe Watson and Layne.
Chelsea tells her mother she’s apprehensive as a result of Cole gets anxious when the youngsters are upset because he cares too much. Chelsea is happy to get some one-on-one time with Aubree, because it’s restricted now that there are two other youngsters in the family.
“Ya really do have your palms full…(don’t ya know!?)” South-Dee-Kotah Mary says.
Next, we examine in with Jenelle who has recovered from her “emergency sinus surgery,” however continues to be holding robust to that other infection in her life, her husband Lurch.
Whereas driving in the automotive together, Jenelle and Barbara speak about one of the other outstanding residents that Jenelle has chosen to mate with– Jace’s dad Andrew. He has all of a sudden gained interest in Jace’s life/cashing those MTV checks. Barb goes to HIGH! HIGH! tail herself to “New Yaaaahk” to satisfy with Andrew in a number of days.
Jenelle worries about Andrew, because she doesn’t feel that he’s secure sufficient to be in Jace’s life.
Um…actually not one among you clowns is secure enough to even run your personal lives, let alone a toddler’s, but here we are…
Barbara says that Ol’ Andy has been texting her in the wee hours of the night time randomly.
“After a while, all of them come crawlin’ again to Babs, I tells ya! The young bucks love me!”
Jenelle tells her mother a few meltdown Jace had lately on The Land, which she claims was sparked by his jealously over Kaiser having another family to visit, and never by the fact that Jace had to spend 48 hours on The Land with Lurch and Firm, watching Lurch groom his facial hair.
Again at the DeJesus Dungeon, Briana’s not often seen producer, Alexis, asks her how her new boo John will feel about her previous boo/baby daddy #1 having a “la-dee-dah time” together with her in Puerto Rico without him. Briana tells Producer Alexis that John is cool together with her in depth baby daddy state of affairs.
“He is aware of it’s bizarre,” Briana stated.
“Is it although?” Producer Alexis asks. (I mean, this IS ‘Teen Mom.’ This feels like business as standard to me, truthfully.)
In an effort to make the entire state of affairs appear more legit, Briana says she’s enthusiastic about changing Nova’s final identify to Devoin’s final identify. She feels dangerous as a result of she gave Stella crappy Luis’ final identify, but disadvantaged Devoin of having a namesaked offspring.
“Perhaps it is best to just wait till you get knocked up by the subsequent rando and you may give all the youngsters his final identify? Simply to make it easier?”
Briana says she seems like she and Devoin have both grown up and may put their differences apart for Nova now.
Back in The WV, it’s report card day for Leah’s girlses and to her delight, nobody receives a C. Leah calls Corey to inform him the good news that neither of the twins take after their mother and father on the subject of “the learnin’ and such.”
Leah additionally calls Jeremy to tell him that Addie received all S’s on her report card. Jeremy has no clue what an “S” stands for, but as soon as he hears it means “Satisfactory” and not “She Don’t Do Good,” he’s happy with the information.
“I assume I gained’t be needing this to vary my grades, Aunt Becky-style!”
“I’m very pleased with you guyseses’ grades!” Leah– who was clearly schooled in the unwell faculties–declares.
Over on the DeBoer house, it’s the night time of the Momster Mash dance and Chelsea is dressed as a sweaty bat. (Certainly the thought of that has Cole all labored up, so don’t be stunned if there’s some Baby DeBoer makin’ occurring post-dance!)
“You assume I’m sweaty now, simply you wait till tonight, child muffins!”
Chelsea is panicking about Cole holding down the fort while she’s gone for an entire two hours.
Two seconds after Chelsea and Aubree depart the house, Watson and Layne each have a meltdown while Cole makes an attempt to take care of his sanity/earn that “Dad AF” sweater he’s been eyeing.
Watson’s response to seeing his mother in something aside from a “Mama Bear” sweatshirt…
Speaking of not holding it together, Jenelle has all of her/Lurch’s youngsters (the ones they’re legally allowed to spend time with, that’s) for the weekend so she decides to take them to do something enjoyable—-AKA anything that isn’t close to Lurch or The Land.
In the course of the automotive experience, Jenelle attempts to make small speak with Jace and we don’t know what’s more durable to observe: Jenelle pretending to be interested by Jace’s soccer workforce or her refusing to put her telephone down while she’s driving.
“Uhh, yeah… that’s cool. Just let me end this tweet and we will speak about your basketball workforce or whatever, Jason.”
Up in New York, we verify in with Andrew the “former mannequin” and his good friend Luch—to not be confused with Lurch—who have to be some type of magician as he’s levitating a hat on his head all through the complete scene.
What within the recent hell is occurring here?
Andrew tells Luch that he has not seen Jace since he Skyped with him on-camera like seven years in the past. Magical.
He additionally seems like he missed out on Jace’s life (um…as a result of he has) and that he thinks about him each day… particularly on the days when lease is due and that MTV cash would come in useful. Luch tells Andrew it’s not too late to be in Jace’s life/leap onboard the MTV practice. Andrew says if he and Jace have been collectively, they might “tear up” the city.
“Man, you recognize my son can get us into one of the best golf equipment with all of this MTV money he’s making!”
So…does Andrew understand how previous his son truly is?! Why do I get the feeling that Andy thinks that Jace and him can be out creepy-cruising bars for women celebrating their 21st birthday in a yr or two?
In his protection, it needs to be arduous retaining monitor of time once you’re all the time on set doing photoshoots for early 2000s clothes and cellphone accessories for men over the age of 50.
So good of the modeling agency to spring for the belt clip on Andrew’s telephone.
Andrew says that he imagines Jace is just like him.
“Like father like son,” Andrew says, before randomly including, “As a result of…you already KNOW!”
Andrew tells his good friend that Jenelle has been retaining Jace away from him, as well as all the “good affect” he might have in his life.
“Good influences? Man, please inform me your loopy ass isn’t speaking about yourself proper now.”
Andrew and Luch proceed to only make bizarre sounds forwards and backwards for some time, till Andrew says he hopes Barbara has modified and is good to him now.
Again in Delaware, Kail is telling Isaac and Lincoln how bizarre it’s that she has had all boys, and that Javi and Lauren are additionally having a boy. She tells the youngsters that she is aware of a lady who has six boys and one woman.
“What if that occurs to you?” Isaac– who clearly is aware of that fertility runs excessive on this present– asks his mom.
“What for those who’re getting a woman right now?” Isaac asks. (Nicely…I don’t see Chris making an attempt to play “Bone and Sprint” with Kail once more, in order that’s in all probability not occurring, buddy.)
“Wait…lemme get Chris on speakerphone and then you definitely say that again, OK?”
Kail makes an attempt to elucidate how the process of creating a lovechild works.
“When you could have a child it’s a must to….um…” she says, realizing that she’s unsure methods to clarify the hump-and-dump process.
“It’s a must to do…certain things…to have a child,” Kail tells Isaac.
“You do?” he asks. “Like what?”
Kail is obviously not ready to elucidate the whole strategy of child making to the youngsters. (Perhaps she will make like Dr. Drew and simply direct him to itsyoursexlife.com?)
We subsequent swing over to Javi’s home, the place he tells Lauren that Kail flipped out when she came upon she wasn’t on Lincoln’s emergency contact type and Lauren was.
“It’s not your duty to cater to her feelings,” Lauren says.
“FACTS,” Javi replies. (Why does Javi all the time speak like he’s reading the caption of an Instagram meme?)
“Hashtag lame. Hashtag child mama drama. Hashtag don’t harm me.”
Javi says all their drama needs to “be squashed” and that he doesn’t have time for this pettiness, now that he’s about to open his Crossfitting Empire. He plans to take over the health world, one health club (and burpee) at a rattling time. In fact, the fitness center opening can be intertwined with the delivery of the infant.
“There’s no cause to attend!” Lauren says. “Time isn’t going to decelerate!”
I mean…it has been almost seven months. How much slower can they take this relationship!?
Later, Kail is taking Lincoln to his soccer recreation, which Javi has knowledgeable her he gained’t be attending on account of a town corridor meeting for his new health club. Kail decides to call her pal Lindsay that night time to vent about Javi missing a apply right after he yelled at her for lacking a recreation.
Kail tells Lindsay he also had the nerve to ship her a link to buy one among his health club t-shirts in case she “needed to help” his business. At this level, Kail seems to be like she may think about shopping for a pair just to strangle him with.
“No decide would convict me!”
Back in Florida, it’s the morning of Nova’s dental surgery and someone has mistakenly woken up Brittany earlier than noon to babysit Stella. Brittany– who emerges from no matter closet she’s pressured to sleep in on account of area constants within the household condo– is blurry-eyed and sporting nothing but a sports bra, sweats and her signature scowl.
Briana– also in a sports activities bra (critically, did they have a sale on Fruit of the Loom up at the Wal-mart or…?) yells at Brittany for not eager to go to the hospital together with her.
“Maintain this mess up and I’m shifting out… of the lounge and into an actual bedroom.”
Stella tries to high-tail it out the entrance door (in all probability to purchase some kind of athletic bra to wear to match her family), however is snagged by Roxanne on the last minute.
In North Carolina, Jenelle decides to take the youngsters to a trampoline park along with one among her paid buddies and stated good friend’s assortment of youngsters. Jenelle tells her “good friend” that Andrew weaseled himself again on digital camera this season by messaging the ‘Teen Mom 2’ director in an effort to get in touch with Jenelle or Barb. (As The Ashley advised you again in August, this is not truly true. It was the producers who contacted Andrew as a way to create a narrative line for Jenelle.)
Jenelle’s “pal” tells her that Andrew being in and out of Jace’s life may have a destructive impression on him, so evidently this “pal” has never seen an episode of this present.
“So you stated they minimize the ‘pal’ checks twice every week then?”
Jenelle says she doesn’t need Jace’s expectations to be too high, utterly overlooking the truth that this child has zero expectations of anybody at this point, thanks in large part (if not solely) to her.
Again in Orlando, Nova has come by way of just high-quality from her dental surgical procedure, and Devoin was there to help her, which is good. We get to see Nova a bit HIGH! HIGH! on anesthesia (which certainly made Devoin reminisce to his days of smokin’ THE WEED.)
Quickly, Briana, Devoin, Nova and Roxanne head residence like one massive completely satisfied household. Bri reminds us what an enormous piece of rotting flesh Luis is, and says that she’s impressed with how a lot Devoin has modified.
As soon as they get back to The Condominium, Briana sets up store in Brittany’s favorite couch indention and tells Devoin about her plans to vary Nova’s final identify. Devoin tells her it’s “fairly cool” and despite it “being a process” he’s on board. (#TaxWriteOff)
Briana and Devoin plan to tell Nova about her new identify once they get to Puerto Rico.
“That is nice! I can’t wait to share a checking account, I mean final identify with Nova!”
To learn The Ashley’s other ‘Teem Mom 2’ recaps, click on here!
Andrew Lewis, Barbara Evans, Briana DeJesus, Brittany DeJesus, Chelsea Houska, Cole DeBoer, David Eason, Devoin Austin, Dr. Drew Pinsky, Jason Jordan, Javi Marroquin, Jenelle Evans, Kail Lowry, Lauren Comeau, Leah Messer, Roxanne DeJesus, Teen Mother 2, Teen Mother 2 Recaps