Observe from The Ashley: Because of the horrible David Eason dog-killing drama of this previous week, The Ashley has kept away from posting this recap. Nevertheless, she feels like the present’s fans can use amusing after a really lengthy and unhappy week, so she is posting it now.
On this episode of Teen Mother 2, Leah reveals that she’s once again a single woman, Chelsea tries to maneuver previous her current break-in, Jenelle and David (briefly) call it quits, Kail and Jo patch issues up, and Briana leaves Stella within the palms of her DJing daddy for an hour… or as Luis calls it, a few 17-song set.
We kick this episode off with Kail who’s in Los Angeles recording her podcast whereas her assorted youngsters are at house with their fathers. For this specific podcast episode, Kail and her Espresso Convos co-host Lindsie Chrisley have invited Teen Mom OG’s Amber Portwood to return in and speak crap on Jenelle. That is right on the heels of Amber’s “screamin’ into her telephone while sporting a random kimono” Instagram reside feud with Jenelle, in any case.
Increase your hand when you’ve been added to The Land’s record of completely banned friends…and will in all probability begin sporting a bulletproof vest…
Amber and Andrew arrive at the lodge room for the present and before Andrew heads out, he reminds Amber to “curse quite a bit and inform the truth” —a mantra she’s confirmed to haven’t any drawback dwelling by.
As soon as the podcast begins recording, Kail decides to have Amber break down her aspect of the Jenelle feud, which Amber says was ignited (actually by no means retiring this pun) when she saw Jenelle’s “peace gathering” bonfire and decided to put in her two cents. Amber explains that Jenelle didn’t take to her phrases of recommendation too kindly, subsequently she determined to “come for” Amber in return.
“It was simply disgusting how she came back, I feel, so once I responded, I wasn’t pleased with how I responded to be trustworthy. I actually wasn’t. After which she blocked me,” Amber stated.
Kail and Amber speak about how issues with their co-stars have been a lot totally different again with their exhibits began, with Kail saying she once was the closest to Jenelle and that she never used to have a problem with Briana, while Amber says she and Farrah have been once the closest amongst her forged.
“At the least now that we’re not pals, Farrah stopped sending me her plastic butt molds on my birthday, so there’s that…”
And talking of dangerous selections, next we examine in with Briana and the filled-to-the-brim DeJesus family. Bri’s latest boo has headed residence after meeting the fam and Brittany is keen to know what her mom thinks concerning the man her sister welcomed into their life/residence/couch indention.
“Yo, we will’t simply be lettin’ anybody else up in here to stay, we’ve requirements… and in addition very little seating.”
“Mother, what do you consider her little homie homie, her good friend, one other big-head Dominican,” she asks Roxanne.
Roxanne says John is good, well mannered and attentive to Briana’s youngsters and she or he tells Briana she’s glad the two of them are taking issues sluggish (aka not instantly drunkenly procreating in a club toilet on women’ night time.)
Regardless of being cool with Briana and John’s state of affairs, Roxanne needs to know if John likes Florida, extra particularly if he’d be into dwelling in a crowded house with two youngsters and three ladies, considered one of whom has infinite dibs on all cushioned furniture in the widespread area.
Briana tells her mother she doesn’t know what John thinks and Roxanne quips back, “Have you ever axed him?” Before Briana can respond, Brittany–eternally speaking in memes– tells Roxanne to settle down and reminds her that, “They catching flights, not feelings.”
For that sofa’s sake, let’s hope that’s the only thing being caught around there. After watching this scene, a glass of penicillin would really hit the spot!
Later that day in the Home of Too Many Things/Individuals, Brittany prepares Nova for her gymnastics tryouts by displaying her how you can scare the DeJesus out of child Stella… ya know, the child with a coronary heart condition…
Whereas Brittany is ensuring that Stella continues to be respiration, Briana says DJ Luis and all 32 tooth that make up his creepy smile can be maintaining a tally of Stella afterward while they’re at Nova’s tryouts. First the leap scare and now a pressured playdate with the 482nd highest-ranked aspiring DJ on Sound Cloud? Man, this just isn’t Stella’s day!
“OK Stella…I’m ’bout to inform you something actual scary…your dad is on his method!”
Brittany thinks Stella shall be scared if she wakes up from her nap and solely has Luis and his stack of promotional flyers for foam night time on the membership to comfort her, and Nova agrees.
“She doesn’t really like her dad,” Nova reminds Briana.
Briana tells Nova that Stella just needs to warm as much as Luis, very similar to Nova did when Devoin determined to start out coming round to select up his MTV checks. Nova argues that Stella had no drawback warming up to Devoin instantly, which Briana and Brittany say is as a result of Devoin is cool.
“He received swag, Nova,” Brittany says.
Nicely, as everyone knows, swag is crucial thing for a dad to have on the subject of taking good care of his child!
Next we verify in with the Woman (and we use that term oh so frivolously) of The Land, Jenelle, who’s having dinner together with her mother. Jenelle tells viewers in her voiceover that as a result of the cameras nonetheless aren’t filming David, she and Barb are “meeting up out of town once more,” although they’re suspiciously carrying around the similar buying luggage from their Atlanta trip. (Nice attempt, MTV! Why don’t you just make them put on wigs such as you used to make the women in the earlier seasons to attempt to make it seem like one thing was filmed means earlier than it was!?)
“Tastes like a number of more dangerous selections are about to be made!”
Whereas slurping back daiquiris, Jenelle talks to Barb about her plan to take Jace together with her to go to a pal in Kentucky, though she notes that David has but to grant her permission. Upon studying of this tiny detail, Barb makes a psychological observe to cancel boxed wine night time with the gals from Wal-Mart, seeing as how the chances of this journey truly occurring are about the identical odds of David de-Yeti-ing himself, putting on a clear shirt and going to job truthful.
“Nicely Juhnelle, I’m fairly positive I’m not gonna see ya wif Jace in Kentucky!”
Up in South Dakota, Chelsea continues to be on edge after the cabin break-in so she’s hanging out at her mother’s house everyday while Cole is at work. Regardless of putting in a top-notch safety system, Chelsea is scared to be at her house, particularly because she’s on TV and other people know she’s a stay-at-home mother.
Chelsea’s mother, South Dee-ko-tah Mary solely provides to her nervousness by mentioning simply how creepy it’s to know that somebody was rummaging via all of her flannels and “Mother AF” shirts. How sweet.
The moment Chelsea realized the burglar might have even fondled her flannel “attractive time” gear…
Next we head to the hollers of West Virginia the place Leah has some “massive information” for Producer Brendan… that information being that she and Jason have damaged up. Leah sits Brendan down as if he’s the one she’s breaking up with. She explains to him that things simply weren’t working between her and Jason and in addition that the girlseses “weren’t feeling” it.
Brendan pretends to be shocked to listen to this information and drives his efficiency house by asking Leah if Jason was only “on his greatest conduct once we’re round,” which Leah confirms. She says she felt like she was able to put her all into a relationship, this simply simply wasn’t the suitable one.
On the brilliant aspect, at the very least Jason received some free meals out of the deal. Oh, and a fun afternoon on the gynecologist.
“Ya assume you might accompany me to my subsequent gynecologist appointment, Brendan? I’ve obtained to get them Nuva Rings positioned in my woman hooter. Brendan? Where are you going?!”
Back at the DeJesus condo, Brittany provides Nova a pep speak earlier than her gymnastics tryouts, because nothing encourages youngsters to succeed in their full potential more than being confronted with what is going to occur in the event that they don’t.
“Yo, you gotta attain for the celebs and s**t ’trigger this sofa ain’t large enough for each of us to finish up livin’ on.”
Soon after, Luis arrives and Stella reluctantly interacts with him before Briana, Brittany and Nova depart.
Luis is preserving the couch indention heat whereas Stella takes a nap. As Brittany predicted, once Stella wakes as much as see her stranger of a father standing above her, she starts having a meltdown.
Awe! Take a look at Stella holding up the variety of days her dad works every week!
In the meantime, Nova secures her spot on the gymnastics group and the DeJesus crew heads residence. En route, Briana gets a textual content from a panicking Luis asking when his babysitting set shift might be accomplished. Once they arrive again on the condo, Stella clings to Briana more durable than Luis clings to the hope of in the future making it in the music business.
We next examine back in with Kail. After wrapping up the podcast episode, Kail and Amber hang out and speak, and Amber scoops up a bunch of free samples of Kail’s Pothead merchandise, which she assures Kail she gained’t burn.
They then speak about Barb’s little ol’ demise menace, something that hit close to residence for Amber as she says she used to get dying threats “within the mel.” (This isn’t, in fact, to be confused with when Amber was “in jel.”)
Kail and Amber overlook the humor in Barb’s remark and Kail says she’s just about sick of Jenelle’s entire family and the fact that they hold roping her into their nonsense.
Later, Kail is back in Delaware and things between her and Jo have been dealt with so that the 2 of them gained’t should go to courtroom, nevertheless, Kail nonetheless has handy over a verify. Jo decides to swing on by for an early pay day and with him is Isaac, who’s bummed out after dropping in his dodgeball event. Kail tells Isaac not to be upset and lets him know that she’s been “taking Ls” all yr. (She’s also been courting “Ls” for most of her life…)
Jo corrects her that she’s been taking them her entire life, straight up insulting himself in the course of. Kail seems like she wishes she had a dodgeball to throw at Jo’s smug face.
“Please don’t harm me! I was just kidding!”
After Jo and Isaac depart, Kail tells her producer that she’s glad the entire baby help debacle is over, although she predicts Season 19 of ‘Teen Mother 2’ will show all three (or more?) of her child daddies coming for her and her checking account.
Once we next verify back in with Jenelle, we study (by way of voiceover) that David wasn’t down for the solo journey she deliberate to take with Jace (shocker!) and that he needed to return along (no approach!). Quickly after a disagreement, hassle allegedly ensued on The Land, leading the 2 to announce (by way of social media, in fact) that they have been single.
This, in response to MTV, is when Jenelle finally decided not to go to Kentucky. #SureJan (In fact, The Ashley’s readers know that the Easons’ “breakup” happened before the Kentucky journey was canceled, and that Jenelle only canceled the trip because she and David have been already again together.)
“Dude, if the ‘AF’ doesn’t present you ways critical I am, that emoji definitely will.”
Because Jenelle’s world is a dumpster hearth and we’re all simply dwelling in it and smelling the stench from it, we’re pressured towards our will to go right down to Florida to examine in with Nathan whereas he will get his ponytail nubbin cleaned up on the barber shop. (Truthfully, we’ll take 10 episodes of Nathan preening over one episode filmed on or close to The Land.)
When your baby mama’s silly ways land you more display time.
Nathan’s barber is just dying to talk about Jenelle’s latest antics and fortunate for him, Nathan is right here to spill the protein-packed tea. Nathan says David is doing nothing to assist Jenelle’s image, very similar to Jenelle herself.
Nathan also says Jenelle has to hit rock bottom before she gets her life together. While it’s a bit exhausting to take him critically while he’s sporting a toddler-sized ponytail on his dome, Nathan isn’t incorrect.
Shout out to the second gravity-defying hat of the season…
Again in West Virginia, Leah is babysitting her niece Cerenity (yaaas!). When Leah’s sister Victoria comes to select her up, they chat about Leah’s new single-lady status. Victoria tells Leah that Jason referred to as her to inform her he needed Leah and her two-horned uterus again in his life.
Leah isn’t stunned and says that Jason has been calling and texting her nonstop and even confirmed up at her house when she and Addie have been at residence. Victoria is relieved that Leah didn’t take her recommendation and get knocked up with a baby whose identify she’d finally misspell.
Once you discover out the identify “Trainquillatee” continues to be up for grabs….
Leah decided not to tell the girlseses about her and Jason’s breakup because she assumed they’d figure it out on their own… which they do, because of Addie (who is, as The Ashley has stated earlier than, the true star of this s**tshow!)
“Mommy and Jason broke up and he was making an attempt to kiss her however she pushed him back and that’s all,” she tells the twins whereas enjoying on their newly-carpeted flooring.
Leah walks in and confirms Addie’s comments and Aleeah is the primary to tell her mom she’s glad as a result of she by no means appreciated Jason. Addie adds that Jason wasn’t a lot of a looker both.
“He was not good-looking, he was not cute, he didn’t appear to be a prince, he seemed silly and seemed dumb,” she says.
Tell us how you really feel, Addie! Umm… somebody get this kid a Burn E-book, STAT.
Leah tells the girlseses that regardless that her relationship with Jason didn’t pan out, she’s nonetheless going up to now round because she doesn’t need to find yourself being an previous cat woman. Guess that entire ’stand in your personal energy’ thing went out the window, huh?
Addie is ok together with her mom placing a ring on it for a 3rd time (hell….even if it’s a Nuva ring!), but prefers that she next tie the knot together with her dad, Jeremy. Leah laughs at this suggestion, in all probability as a result of she’s already begun hitting Jeremy Lynn with some “U up?” texts at this point.
“Don’t tell Jerm I’ve obtained my two-horned uterus all fastened up real purdy for him, Addie!”
Back in Florida, Briana learns that if she information for youngster help for Stella, Luis will probably be granted 50/50 custody, which she nor her family assume he is ready for. When Briana tells Luis this, he sends her a text letting her know he’s completely high quality with taking their case to courtroom as a result of he looks like Briana isn’t giving him a fair shot to be a father to Stella.
Whenever you understand 50 % of your grandkid’s lullabies might quickly function music samples, loops and aggressive bass.
Briana tells her mom that if getting baby help from Luis means giving up 50 % of her custody, Luis can hold his tip-jar cash and she or he’ll drop that case faster than he can drop a beat… or the ball on the subject of being a father or mother.
To learn The Ashley’s other ‘Teen Mother 2’ recaps, click here!
Amber Portwood, Barbara Evans, Briana DeJesus, Brittany DeJesus, Chelsea Houska, Coffee Convos, David Eason, Jason Jordan, Jenelle Evans, Jo Rivera, Kail Lowry, Leah Messer, Lindsie Chrisley, Luis Miguel, MTV, Nathan Griffith, Podcasts, Pothead Haircare, Recaps, Roxanne DeJesus, Teen Mother 2, Teen Mother 2 Recaps, Teen Mother 2 Season 9, Teen Mom OG, The Land